Broken AND…

Gather your broken pieces, every single one, and drop them at the feet of the only One that can piece you back together. And when you are WHOLE in Him, don’t you dare hide those parts of you that speak of His glory the loudest. May we always be those that tell our whole story to see Jesus wholly woven within it. –Bekah Blankenship, 2016 

As I have thought over the last month about a title, since I started writing this blog post, I knew that the word “broken” would be in it.  However, I couldn’t figure out another word to add with it.  The main reason being because, the words that can come after “broken AND” can be very different each day.  Some days it could be “broken and angry”, some days “broken and beautiful” or “frustrated” or “overwhelmed.”  There are a large number of combinations, but none seemed to fit.  So, I went with AND.  Because the broken can always be coupled with a different word, but the word changes.  That is OK.  It doesn’t always have to be wrapped up and nice because life isn’t always that way.

It’s interesting doing an international move.  Maybe interesting isn’t the exact right word, exhausting, overwhelming, full, busy are maybe just a few that describe it better than “interesting.”  I suppose there isn’t one word that wraps it all up perfectly to explain to those who haven’t done it.  I’m not trying to be melo-dramatic or oversell it.  I’m just trying to give glimpses in to our view of a big international transition.

As we started unpacking bags today (over a month ago now), I was surprised to see the things that were broken.  Things we had worked meticulously to protect.  Some things we knew were extra fragile or items that had special, significant meaning, thess things we protect.  But some things we don’t think about being quite as meticulous about.  We wrap it in a blanket, but it isn’t sufficient protection and we open up the suitcase and it is full of glass.  Some things are only half-broken.  The glass of the picture frame is broken, but the photo is intact, for example.  Or the wood part of a painting is scratched, but the significant part is fine.  Maybe a book is torn, but the pages and words, although worn, still read the same.  The significance of the items haven’t changed, in fact, they may hold even more significance because they have traveled with us through hard transitions, but they still remain.

But sometimes things are best left in the suitcases.  Yes, it is true.  When you open the bags, you reveal the mess inside.  What has been hidden for a few months after being packed up, sometimes packed rapidly and carelessly, sometimes packed meticulously is now being revealed.  Usually when things are being packed, there is the element of not knowing exactly where or when or how it will be opened up.  That can be translated to life too!  Life that seemed known, stable and easy now carries more things undone, more life not in a specific place.  A house that may have looked put together now is a disaster and messy.  Leaving it in the suitcase means that at least it is contained somewhere and sometimes leaving it contained in a different space is easier than trying to clean it all up in that moment.

In transition, and in life in general, sometimes, well, really, almost all the time, it is easier to leave our broken things, our messy situations, our hurts and our grief in one place.  A place where it is contained in its messiness and a place we don’t always have to deal with.  But it starts escaping sometimes in to other places that are not contained.  It can come out in anger or sadness, a lot of times at the worst times.  But I was reminded earlier of the quote above that our brokenness was never meant to be carried by us.  Our broken things and our weaknesses can be laid at the feet of the one who can carry it and has been carrying it all along.  Because our stories don’t end in our broken things.  Our broken things point to the healer of our brokenness.  Our scars and wounds point to the one who can heal them and turn them in to something that doesn’t just speak brokenness, but speaks life and healing.

As I held the broken pieces of pictures and Christmas ornaments and special mugs, I realized that some were worth salvaging, but some things needed to be thrown away.  It was OK to let them go and it was a good representation to me that some grief I am currently dealing with in leaving stability and things that are known can be traded for the unknown written story that God has me in.  The broken pieces are OK because they are all part of a bigger story and picture that God Himself is writing.