The “M” Word – Regrets

It started with a lunch conversation. As I met with Chris (not her real name), an older woman in the church, I thought, “She’s so great. She sure seems to have it together.” I was her pastor’s wife, yet I felt a longing to know her better, to connect regularly—perhaps even to be mentored by her, although the “m” word was never used.

Later, I was surprised to learn that a close friend of mine felt the same way toward Chris. Our children and life stages were similar, and she confessed to me, “If Chris only knew how much we need her wisdom. What a difference time with her could make in our lives.” Neither of us approached Chris about mentoring or getting together regularly; her responsibilities seemed to indicate that it wouldn’t be feasible. Yet, when I think about Chris, I know that periodic, intentional conversations would have been wonderful, and I could have learned so much.

I also think that Chris had no idea how very much my friend and I would have loved to know her better and to learn from her experience and wisdom. I suspect that Chris figured she didn’t have anything of real substance to offer me, or that I didn’t need friendship with someone whose life stage was so different. Even today, I regret that I didn’t pursue a more intentional conversation with her. See, I fear that as women it is easy for us to discount our value to one another. Often the richest resources are the ones we most easily overlook or those who are close at hand.

So the question today is, “Is there someone in your life who would love to connect with you?” “Who are you advocating for?” and “How are you encouraging the women in your life and circle of influence?” You may feel that you don’t have much to offer to another yet, your experience is probably nearly invaluable to another woman in your life.