Just yesterday I was thinking, “Ok, only 7 more days in the quarantine…we can do this.” Then last night it was announced it will be extended through May 11th…so not 7 more days, 21 more days. That was enough to make me feel discouraged. What about it makes the extension hard? We can’t leave our housing complex except for the two days a week we are assigned and allowed to go to the grocery store. And children are not allowed out at all. That means no walks together as a family, except around our parking lot. We aren’t able to see anyone in person, other than our neighbors who we wave to when we see them outside. I was really looking forward to being able to get together with a friend…just to take a walk or have coffee. We know groups over 10 people won’t be able to meet for awhile, so getting together with our church family won’t be possible, but even to have one or two people over for dinner, or be able to bring dinner to them. That was what I was hopeful for.
In the grand scheme of things we are doing well. We are healthy, we have a great home and good neighbors, we have food to eat and plenty of time together as a family. And so I am naming those good things. But, I’ve also learned it’s important to acknowledge the losses. Thinking of those who have lost employment and for those students who just want to get back to school and for whom online learning isn’t possible. We understand the reasons for the continuation of the quarantine, but that doesn’t make it easy.
So, today I present all my emotions before God, trusting in God’s sovereignty and goodness. I’m reminded of a prayer from my devotionals this past week (Lectio365) on Holy Saturday. “[God] I know you are the answer, but I still have so many questions. I’m deeply aware of the work you’ve begun in my life, but I’m impatient for its completion. Today I surrender to your apparent slowness.In the absence of easy answers and instant miracles, teach me to wait…”
It is not in my time, nor in my way. And so I trust God. And I trust that God is working in ways beyond my comprehension.
And I savor the good things, like the blooming flowers around me.
And the smiles that a new puzzle and virtual dinners with friends bring.