matcha with me…

My sister put it well in an email- she said she had a bit of Japanese news fatigue. I do too, but still find myself searching for more. Watching the faces of people recount their stories draws me in to the strength and beauty of the Japanese, and I find myself awed by the people of this country I have tried to learn from, tried to serve, tried to share Jesus with. I know I’m fatigued though, because I haven’t been able to make myself focus on what’s happening in Libya- I haven’t had the emotional energy to review the events leading up to the current crisis although my head tells me it is really important.

I’m still glued to the unfolding events at the Fukushima reactors, and fascinated by how people process the information available about them. After reading the same article, one person might feel like things have stabilized and all will be well, one person might feel that the press tends towards sensationalism anyhow, so of course everything will be fine, and another might feel that one day’s stability is a temporarily positive blip on a overall scary screen. And even with these and more ways of interpreting data, there is variation in how people make decisions in the face of danger. The three hundred workers at the Fukushima plant attempting repairs, cooling and containment are knowingly facing very high levels of radiation. This self-giving love in action points us beyond merely “what’s good for me.”

Tonight vegetables and milk in four prefectures are tainted with above acceptable levels of radiation, and the U.S. embassy has posted that they will make potassium iodide (KI) tablets available to all U.S. personnel and their dependents in a sixteen- prefecture-plus-Tokyo ring around the plants. Of course this was very carefully worded to avoid a sense of imminent danger, but that is a very large radius within which to prepare for possible radiation contamination.

As I consider these things and read of friends and acquaintances who are doing heroic acts in faraway places like Miyagi, Iwate, and Fukushima prefectures, I’m aware of a deep restlessness within myself- almost a greed.  I wish I was doing something important, or interesting, or even helpful to anyone. Instead I am in limbo agonizing whether to return to Tokyo or stay put here in Kobe for a little longer. I really want to return to Tokyo since my youngest’s stress levels are off the charts. He fares much, much better in a stable, orderly, familiar environment, and when he’s doing well, so is the rest of the family. When he is at ease and engaged in his regular routines of school, sports and friends, he is pretty happy and  I even have time to do things for those outside my own family. However, is returning really in everybody’s best interest? I’m old, and certainly won’t have any more kids. My kids are young, and I hope they’ll have the chance to have kids.

So tonight I close with a prayer for those who are displaced, who are feeling dis-ease with loss of familiar people and friends, dis-ease over unfamiliar environments and routines. God of peace, hear our prayer.