I could have missed it. I definitely wasn’t looking for it. Never did it occur to me that on my walk in the Twin Cities, on one of the last mornings in August, I would find one lilac growing on a bush by the side of the road. But, that’s exactly what happened. And the flood of emotions that followed took me by surprise.
What is so special about a lilac in August? Well, for one it’s very rare. Lilacs in the Twin Cities bloom in late spring. I had never seen one past summer time. I typically miss seeing them because it’s such a short season and we don’t visit in spring.
The other reason it was so special is that lilacs are my favorite flowers from childhood. We had lilac bushes at my childhood home and my grandma’s home. I would love cutting the flowers with my mom and making bouquets to put all around the house. My mom loved lilacs too, from the time she was a child, so it was something we shared. She would always make sure to cut lilacs if they were blooming when I was visiting. She would always take pictures to send to me. We don’t have lilacs in Colombia and it’s something from home I miss. Last year on a retreat in Europe in May the place we were staying had a huge lilac bush right in front of it and every day I could go and smell the lilacs. It felt like a gift from God.
As I went on my walk that morning I was missing my mom. I had spent the past couple hours going through paperwork and files. So, to stumble upon a lilac felt like a huge gift. And of course my instinct was to call her and tell her. Hence, the flood of emotions that led to me crying on the side of the street. I stood there and smelled the flower repeatedly. As I walked another couple of blocks, I found another bush that had one blooming lilac. Another gift. It made me think of all the times I miss those sweet small gifts because I’m too busy to even pay attention to what is going on around me. It was like God saying, “I’m here. I see you.” And it made me happy thinking how happy it would make my mom. I had to stop and just sit on a bench for awhile, letting the tears fall. While an August lilac might seem insignificant, to me it meant the world. Grieving is a hard, tiring process. These reminders of my parents’ and God’s love help keep me moving forward. They remind me that God is present.
