I Was Wounded During Worship

It happened during the last song of the last set at Triennial XIV down in San Diego this last August. I was enjoying being with my sisters and worshipping at this powerful event. In the beauty of the moment, a friend and I picked up a piece of silk fabric and let it float up into the air as the women sang their praises to God. As I was walking around a corner (thankfully in the back of the room), my sandal slipped under my heel and I went down…hard. I didn’t want anyone to see I was wounded so I kept walking and pushed through the pain of a broken bone.

I was wounded during worship. The recovery has been long, and at times my patience has been pushed to the limit. I started a new job with a cast on my leg and did not realize how difficult it is to try and pack up an office and move with this kind of an injury. I know that I have a long road of recovery ahead of me, and I know that I will be working hard to get my leg and foot strong enough to walk without a limp. I know that I have to rely on others to help me with everyday tasks….and, I have to ask for help.

When talking to my spiritual director a few weeks ago, I realized my injury paralleled my spiritual life. How and when it happened encompassed my woundedness over the years…the things I have hung on to…the words spoken over me that were lies, all words that threatened my identity in Christ and what He had called me to. I had to face the truth that I have a fractured spirit that I need to tend to in order for it to be well.

I am in recovery both physically and spiritually, and I need the help of others in the process of healing. We are “better together”…I need my brothers and sisters around me to encourage, challenge, pray, believe for me, and help me see that I am not alone in this process of becoming who God has called and gifted me to be as a Worship Pastor.

This call as Worship Pastor is something that tends to the wellness of the congregation, the wholeness of the soul and the encouragement of the body of Christ. In other words, this is a call of healing. If I can be vulnerable with my brothers and sisters and allow them to see that I am on the same journey as they are, all of us broken and in need of the healing touch of Jesus Christ, then I am allowing the wall to come down, the mask to come off and to get out of the way of what God is trying to do in the midst of His people. When we gather to worship the Creator, something begins to happen that is so profound words cannot describe it… if we would just get out of the way.

Romans 12 says, “Offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to the Lord… this is your spiritual worship.” Could this mean that offering our bodies means offering the broken parts too? Even a broken spirit? Scripture tells us, “The sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit and contrite heart.” Honestly, I never tied Psalm 51:17 together with Romans 12 before and now it is just so obvious.

Broken bones actually get stronger when they start to heal. My broken spirit will be stronger. Perhaps I will always have a limp, a reminder that my broken spirit can only be mended by the Healer, but on the way to wholeness is a journey I take along with my brothers and sisters, and it is in the gathering of the saints in worship that God begins to work.

Lisa Eastman serves as Pastor of Worship Arts at Praise Covenant Church in Tacoma, WA. She has also served as the Worship Chair and/or Producer of four Triennials.