I have fallen twice this last fall (no pun intended)…once in the city on the way to the train up to Chiang Mai for our mission meeting in September and then in October in  Udon Thani crossing the street. These little “trip ups” came during a rah-rah season when I was attempting to get my ALC friends to do a 4K friendly walk- run across the Rama 8 Bridge in the center of the capital  on December 16th!  As I spent time reading about Achilles Tendonitis,  with an ice pack wrapped around my ankle, I have had moments to stop and think about my Achilles Heel.

There are many of us who immediately know what an Achilles Heel is… but I’ll refer to Wikipedia for those who need more of an explanation. In Greek mythology, when Achilles was a baby, it was foretold that he would die in battle. To prevent his death, his mother Thetis took Achilles to the River Styx, which was supposed to offer powers of invulnerability, and dipped his body into the water. But as Thetis held Achilles by the heel, his heel was not washed over by the water of the magical river. Achilles grew up to be a man of war who survived many great battles. But one day, a poisonous arrow shot at him was lodged in his heel, killing him shortly after.

December

So, as I deal every moment these days with pain in my heel, I am forced to accept my vulnerability and weakness once again.   Pain is a good indicator of “something not right” and chronic pain is a companion that can color the way we look at life and and can even reduce us to complete dependence on something or someone for our every day living.   I tend to push myself through the day (still walking in preparation for the 16th) and then deal with the pain in the evening.  (don’t even ask Carl and Bethany what they are tired of hearing).  Denial is not a cure for pain.  Wearing an ankle brace does not cure the problem.

March

My weak ankle has me looking down on the ground more.  It appears that if there is a slight disturbance in the smoothness of a path, I am sure to find it and in mid-sentence, disappear from sight.  I am still walking but the compensation that my body made for the pain in my ankle is cropping up other areas of discomfort.  I think I grew up with the “get on with it” mentality and the “don’t sweat the small stuff” outlook on life.  It’s funny how the “small stuff” can come back and bite you if you don’t deal with it.

2 Corinthians 12:10 is a good reflection for me as I think of weakness in my life.

 There are many moments in ministry and as a wife and mom that I see those points of entry when I  let words that hurt me become reason for unkind thoughts or responses.  God gives me these “wake up” moments when I realize I am not invincible, nor am I  in control.  I can try to duke it out on my own or fall into God’s strong arms that will cover me, carry me and keep me secure, despite my present situation.

April

As I reflect now on our recent mission retreat and our topic of working through conflict, I can see that humility must accompany any type of resolution to a problem.  As I think again of my Achilles heal, I know that those areas of weakness or vulnerability in me can help me be a more humble person and more dependent on God and others.  Unfortunately,  those same weaknesses can make me fiercely independent and proud.

That is why I pray, for Christ’s glory, I can delight in my “Achilles heel” and the conflicts of life here on earth.  For when I realize how weak, out-of-control and sinful I truly am, then I am more prone to turn to my God who knows me, loves me and enables me to love as He loves and to walk in the strength He provides.