{"id":1389,"date":"2014-05-18T22:00:30","date_gmt":"2014-05-18T22:00:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.covchurch.org\/bge\/?p=1389"},"modified":"2014-05-18T18:31:15","modified_gmt":"2014-05-18T18:31:15","slug":"seeking-the-shepherds-heart-a-call-for-empathy-to-men-in-ministry","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.covchurch.org\/bge\/2014\/05\/18\/seeking-the-shepherds-heart-a-call-for-empathy-to-men-in-ministry\/","title":{"rendered":"Seeking the Shepherd\u2019s Heart: A Call for Empathy to Men in Ministry"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ironically, this article was published exactly one year ago by Corrie Gustafson on her blog.\u00a0 She has given permission to repost it in its entirety. Corrie has served 6 years in young adult ministry, 2 years in hospital and hospice chaplaincy and 3 years as the Care Pastor at Hope Covenant Church, Chandler, AZ. In June she will be Ordained to Word and Sacrament and also begin working as a chaplain at the Punahou School in Honolulu, Hawaii. She blogs regularly at<\/em> http:\/\/www.pastorwithapurse.<\/span>com<\/a><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

\"woman_at_the_well2\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Not long ago my father\u00a0talked to a prominent pastor who\u00a0also leads a seminary. The seminary\u2019s\u00a0branding is all about having a shepherd\u2019s heart,\u00a0encouraging students to emulate the\u00a0Good Shepherd, Jesus. Somehow my father and this pastor came to the topic of women in ministry and the theology that\u00a0separates egalitarians\u00a0and complementarians.\u00a0Dad shared some of the\u00a0struggles\u00a0I\u2019ve encountered being a woman in\u00a0ministry. The pastor responded with, \u201cI don\u2019t mind\u00a0when people have [egalitarian] views, I just don\u2019t like it when they get angry about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

When my father relayed the conversation, I asked him to repeat\u00a0it several times. A few days later, I questioned him for exact wording. I didn\u2019t want to make assumptions or emotional responses based upon them.\u00a0When it was clear that this was the pastor\u2019s actual statement, I let myself feel fully the disappointment and frustration that I had been holding back.<\/p>\n

One of the most difficult things about being a\u00a0female pastor\u00a0is the lack of compassion I\u00a0see\u00a0among\u00a0Christian men, especially pastors.\u00a0I\u2019ve lost count of the times I\u2019ve heard men give these responses to the topic of women in ministry:<\/p>\n

\u201cThis isn\u2019t my <\/em>issue.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThis isn\u2019t a primary theological issue.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThis isn\u2019t a salvation issue.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know why they get emotional about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI just don\u2019t like it when they get angry about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

These sentences are usually followed by one of two responses. The speakers\u00a0either shrug, frown slightly\u00a0and politely turn the conversation to a different subject or they begin quoting isolated verses from scripture and very pointedly\u00a0ask, \u201cWell, what do you do with this<\/em>\u00a0verse?\u201d\u00a0The tone that is used\u00a0unmistakably implies that\u00a0a female pastor\u2019s vocation\u00a0can be\u00a0nullified by theology that hinges on\u00a0a single sentence from 1 Corinthians or Timothy.<\/p>\n

This post is not a theological foundation for women in ministry. Instead,\u00a0this is\u00a0a plea to\u00a0influential men in the church,\u00a0to elders and leaders and pastors who believe women are NOT called to ministry in the same way as men.\u00a0Will you please take three minutes to read this post in its entirety?<\/p>\n

My plea begins with a question.\u00a0As shepherds of God\u2019s flock \u2014 as called, gifted and appointed leaders of the church \u2014 do you believe that empathy should be a part of your leadership?<\/p>\n

We all probably know or have served under\u00a0excellent leaders. In my opinion, the best leaders are those who are quick to\u00a0listen and slow to offer their own opinion.\u00a0Excellent leaders\u00a0never use\u00a0their opinion or beliefs\u00a0as a weapon\u00a0against another person.<\/p>\n

The\u00a0pastors I admire the most are\u00a0those who solicit the stories and experiences of people different from themselves.\u00a0They earn my respect because their actions reflect that of the Good Shepherd.\u00a0Jesus was a leader who\u00a0ushered angry, frustrated, misunderstood and hurting\u00a0people\u00a0\u2013 even\u00a0his enemies \u2014 not\u00a0onto the stage\u00a0for a\u00a0debate\u00a0or between the ropes of a boxing ring but to a table\u00a0where they could share a meal. Sitting face to face, breaking bread and sharing wine and stories, Jesus had ample space and time to listen well.\u00a0Across a table\u00a0he could watch their faces, the theater of human emotions. The ministry of Jesus was fearless engagement, patient listening and compassionate conversation.<\/p>\n

Return with me to the topic of women in ministry and consider\u00a0a few more questions. To disregard, to show apathy, to minimize or to go on\u00a0the verbal offensive when one (or many) of your flock\u00a0holds a different theological viewpoint from your own\u00a0\u2013 are these the actions of a good shepherd?\u00a0Is this showing empathy like Jesus? Unfortunately, what I have encountered, first as a faithful church-goer and\u00a0later as a woman in ministry, very often falls far short of Jesus\u2019 example.<\/p>\n

From childhood until age 26, every pastor I encountered was male. I grew up in a wide-spread evangelical denomination whose global missionary work\u00a0is noted in\u00a0church history books. I went to a non-denominational Christian college and a trans-denominational Christian graduate school, both evangelical and highly respected by people across the theological spectrum. I earned a B.A. in Biblical Studies and a Master of Divinity. In these programs men were the majority\u00a0among both students and professors. I now serve in a denomination that has been ordaining women since the 1970s but the local churches rarely hire pastors from the large pool of licensed and ordained female candidates.\u00a0All that to say, I know what I\u2019m talking about.\u00a0I\u00a0have a testimony about women in ministry\u00a0and my testimony is true. My story and experiences parallel those of so many evangelical women in ministry, so I invite you to read the following as a trustworthy generalization.<\/p>\n

Since childhood, I have seen and heard of the great work God is doing through female missionaries the world over.\u00a0They are giving voice to the oppressed, rescuing women and children from sexual slavery, planting and strengthening churches and\u00a0preaching the gospel. But when these women come home on furlough, many of them are not called pastor by the churches that support them financially. They can \u201cshare their testimony\u201d on Sunday morning but they are not permitted to \u201cpreach.\u201d They may lead a church in Africa or Asia or South America where the gospel is spreading like only good news can, but many denominations would never allow them to do so in the United States.<\/p>\n

During seminary I interned at a small church. The leadership of this church gave me complete freedom to develop and lead a ministry to our\u00a0young adults, a demographic which made up 70% of our congregation. During my second year, I was joined\u00a0by another female and two males interns.\u00a0On our\u00a0orientation day, the pastor\u00a0announced secondary responsibilities for each of us. The male interns were expected\u00a0to preach once a semester. We females were expected to oversee the hospitality ministry, which meant preparing coffee and\u00a0cinnamon buns, passing out welcome bags on Sundays, and organizing monthly potlucks. I assure you that these responsibilities had nothing to do with\u00a0the spiritual gifts of the four individuals.<\/p>\n

\u201cWomen in ministry\u201d is a hot topic in colleges, seminaries and churches around the country, in many denominations. We\u2019ve labeled this a controversy<\/em>, a debate <\/em>or <\/em>an issue<\/em> but it is much more significant than these labels. It\u2019s more significant because it concerns flesh and blood people<\/em>, women who, like you,\u00a0are created in the image of God. These women make up half the church.<\/p>\n

I imagine that you\u00a0believe that women have vital spiritual gifts,\u00a0given by God.\u00a0You probably even believe that women are your\u00a0co-heralds and co-agents\u00a0of God\u2019s mercy, love, justice and peace on earth. Have you ever considered what would happen if you told all the women in your congregation that because of their gender, they cannot use their gifts (no matter\u00a0the gift)\u00a0in or for the church?\u00a0What would happen to the spirit of your congregation? The vibrancy of your mission? Your ability to impact your community? Your numbers?<\/p>\n

Have you ever had someone walk up to you and tell you are sinning because you, a man,\u00a0have preached from the Word of God?<\/p>\n

Have you ever considered what it would feel like to have people in a church whisper about you and the scandal you have created by asking to preach the good news to a congregation you know and love and have faithfully served? Have you ever been made to feel like a Jezebel when you asked to share\u00a0the message of hope to the depressed, to pass real peace to the world-weary, and speak truth to the thirsty? I have.<\/p>\n

Men,\u00a0you are absolutely right when you say that women in ministry is not your issue. It is our<\/strong>\u00a0issue. It is not exclusively\u00a0a male issue or<\/strong> <\/em>a female issue, it is a church<\/strong> <\/em>issue. This is an important topic for all people of God because once we were\u00a0all sinners.\u00a0At the same moment and by the same blood men and women\u00a0were cleansed and\u00a0wholly<\/em>\u00a0forgiven of their sin.\u00a0We were adopted by God and\u00a0n<\/strong>ow we are a family.<\/strong> We are\u00a0one body, the body of Christ, and as members of this body we are all\u00a0fully redeemed and equally essential to carry out God\u2019s mission on earth.<\/p>\n

Brothers in ministry, when\u00a0you\u00a0fail to engage in this conversation or you only want to debate\u00a0egalitarians\u00a0into a rhetorical corner, you make us feel like opponents or enemies rather than siblings, friends or even\u00a0welcomed strangers.\u00a0Facing\u00a0either dismissiveness or aggressiveness, why should people be surprised\u00a0when\u00a0we get\u00a0defensive or emotional in response?<\/p>\n

When\u00a0men say they\u00a0don\u2019t understand why we get emotional about this \u201cissue\u201d or don\u2019t like it when we get angry, they shame us for our emotions.\u00a0(This may not be the intention, but it is the effect.)\u00a0But\u00a0aren\u2019t\u00a0we all\u00a0\u2013 women and men<\/em>\u00a0\u2013\u00a0emotional beings, created as such by God?<\/p>\n

A\u00a0wise man taught me that emotions are the windows of the soul. As a counselor I\u2019ve learned that heightened emotions like anger and tears are\u00a0flags\u00a0that mark deeper\u00a0fields to be\u00a0mined. That is why I was discouraged\u00a0and frustrated by the response of the prominent pastor from my initial story. Here again is another man who, though he is called pastor and respected as\u00a0the shepherd\u00a0of thousands of\u00a0believers, fails to realize that his way of leading causes pain to so many.<\/p>\n

I promise you brothers, that\u00a0if you ask an angry or otherwise emotional woman about her emotions, if you patiently and gently dig a little deeper, you\u2019ll inevitably unearth red-hot pain.\u00a0For women in the church, pain\u00a0is the natural result of being told or shown\u00a0a hundred different ways since childhood\u00a0that you\u00a0are untrustworthy because you are female. Anger is an understandable and justified emotional response\u00a0to\u00a0being treated like the\u00a0second-class saved.<\/p>\n

The second-class saved. That is who we feel like when you affirm our gifts and our important\u00a0role in the church and with the same mouth you say that because we are women we cannot preach,\u00a0teach men or be pastors.\u00a0It hurts. It\u2019s confusing and contradictory. Theology which restricts women from any pro-gospel actions and the force with which you defend such theology\u00a0sends a strong message that\u00a0women are not really fully redeemed. There are few messages that are as painful to receive as this one.<\/p>\n

Brothers, you may never believe what I believe about the calling of women to lead the church. You may never verbally affirm the excellent leadership of women in your congregation but will you listen to us?<\/p>\n

Will you try to comprehend that your theology, how you present\u00a0your theology\u00a0and how you lead your church may cause pain to women in your congregation?<\/p>\n

Will you consider life and theology from a perspective not your own?<\/p>\n

Will you take the time to imagine what it is like to receive the gospel as one of\u00a0the persecuted or oppressed rather than\u00a0the privileged?<\/p>\n

Will you sit at tables with us and ask us to share our stories?<\/p>\n

Will you shepherd as Jesus did, with empathy?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Report This Post<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ironically, this article was published exactly one year ago by Corrie Gustafson on her blog.\u00a0 She has given permission to repost it in its entirety. Corrie has served 6 years in young adult ministry, 2 years in hospital and hospice chaplaincy and 3 years as the Care Pastor at Hope Covenant Church, Chandler, AZ. In […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":128,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[19328],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1389","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-testimoies-and-stories"],"yoast_head":"\nSeeking the Shepherd\u2019s Heart: A Call for Empathy to Men in Ministry - Commission on Biblical Gender Equality<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/blogs.covchurch.org\/bge\/2014\/05\/18\/seeking-the-shepherds-heart-a-call-for-empathy-to-men-in-ministry\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Seeking the Shepherd\u2019s Heart: A Call for Empathy to Men in Ministry - Commission on Biblical Gender Equality\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Ironically, this article was published exactly one year ago by Corrie Gustafson on her blog.\u00a0 She has given permission to repost it in its entirety. 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