{"id":7996,"date":"2006-02-09T18:03:39","date_gmt":"2006-02-09T23:03:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.covchurch.org\/newswire\/?p=7996"},"modified":"2011-07-06T08:30:09","modified_gmt":"2011-07-06T13:30:09","slug":"big-bad-john","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/blogs.covchurch.org\/newswire\/2006\/02\/09\/big-bad-john\/","title":{"rendered":"Big Bad John"},"content":{"rendered":"

CHICAGO, IL (February 9, 2006) – Editor’s note: apologies to Jimmy Dean for the following rendition of “Big Bad John,” written by Paul and Linda Koptak and offered during a dinner honoring retired North Park Theological Professor Dr. C. John Weborg.<\/em> \"Singing<\/p>\n

Some say he came in from the Nebraska Plains,
\nSome say from Princeton on the eastbound train,
\nCame to town and he came to fame,
\nAs the Saint Johnny Rome, but we all knew the name of Big John.<\/p>\n

Well he walked into Nyvall and it soon was clear,
\nThat the baddest theologian of them all was here,
\nHe settled upstairs and the building shook,
\nCuz it took two offices to hold the books of Big John.<\/p>\n

He went to the classroom and he took the floor,
\nAnd he used big words until your head was sore,
\nNever really sure what it was we were learning,
\nBut we knew polyvalence wasn’t plastic curtains \u2013 Big John.<\/p>\n

He wrote all his lectures with Mont Blanc Pen,
\nHe never asked for any help from IBM,
\nColleagues would laugh and ask him when
\nHe’d get himself wired, he’d just hold up that pen \u2013 Big John.<\/p>\n

Then there was the day we all came running,
\nThere at Guylla’s desk the computer was humming,
\nSomething was wrong, the box smoking and shaking,
\nLooked like something of the devil’s making.<\/p>\n

What with XP, Sem Connect and Blackboard Six,
\nWeb Advisor playing its usual tricks,
\nNew calendar, new programs, it hit overload,
\n“Take cover,” she yelled, “it’s gonna explode.”<\/p>\n

And just when we thought it wouldn’t take any more,
\nWe heard a voice calling outside the door,
\n“Anyone for coffee?” and we turned to see
\nThe John Deere mug and the cookies three of – Big John.<\/p>\n

Well he looked around at that awful scene,
\nThe skull and crossbones flashing on the screen,
\nHe knew right then what he had to do,
\nHe reached in his pocket and out flew the pen of Big John.<\/p>\n

He pulled off the cap and he swung it like a sword,
\nAnd he rammed the point into that back of that board,
\nSparks started flying as the pen took that charge,
\nJohn’s head jerked back and his eyes grew large;
\nHis lips curled and hair stood on end,
\nThat’s when we thought we’d all seen the end of Big John.<\/p>\n

The computer was quiet – it gave no sound,
\nThe pen was fried and it fell to the ground,
\nBut John was still standing, looking into his hand,
\nFor the best friend a scholar could ever have \u2013 Big John.<\/p>\n

Then he opened his mouth and began to speak,
\nOut came the words of a techno-geek,
\nThen we knew for sure the computer was dead,
\nBut all that data had gone into the head – of Big John.<\/p>\n

Well he thought he’d retire, but he had to stay,
\nHe’s been sitting in the dean’s office to this day,
\nHe’s the main frame, the first data cyborg,
\nYou can read it on the internet at web.org \u2013 Big John.<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Copyright \u00a9 2011 The Evangelical Covenant Church.<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Report This Post<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

CHICAGO, IL (February 9, 2006) – Editor’s note: apologies to Jimmy Dean for the following rendition of “Big Bad John,” written by Paul and Linda Koptak and offered during a dinner honoring retired North Park Theological Professor Dr. C. John Weborg. 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