Hostel Parenting: An Inside Look at How it Works

By Paul and Sheryl Noren

YAOUNDE, CAMEROON (November 9, 2006) – Following are observations about the UBAC Hostel parent ministry prepared by Evangelical Covenant Church missionaries Paul and Sheryl Noren, who currently serve in that role.

Hostel parenting is a very unique job. Believe us, it was not something we ever anticipated committing ourselves to do, but it has been one of the most rewarding jobs we have had.

This job is one that enables missionary children to attend an international Christian school in Africa instead of being sent back to their home countries. It makes it possible for their parents to not have to try to balance home schooling their children beyond the sixth grade if they feel it is beyond their capabilities and the available time.

It provides a place where missionary children do not have to miss out on having what we consider a normal school experience – with the benefits of living in Africa. These children need the experiences and opportunities that our stateside teenagers receive.  By attending RFIS (Rain Forest International School), our children get an excellent education staffed by devoted Christian teachers. Most are missionaries with a specific call to serve God by teaching missionary children. Parents of our boarding students can be assured that their children are getting not only a good education, but have the knowledge and security that their sons and daughters are living in a Christian home with other missionaries.

Our parents, although leaving their children in our care, can feel good about being available to answer their mission call wherever God has sent them. Our students are blessed too. They know that we are here for them. They are our top priority. It is not an easy job to parent other couples’ children, even with the same basic beliefs.

By the time the students are in seventh grade they have already developed definite habits and attitudes. It is not our job to change their opinions from that of their parents, but to take the time to get to know them, help them to grow in their own Christian faith, and to live that out. They already are pretty much set in their school attitudes, but we need to come alongside them and help and encourage them to do the best they can in their classes.

We are committed to see not only to their physical needs, but to help guide them in their daily matters, to help them grow into the special people that God has planned  them to be. They get an excellent opportunity to get a good education, a chance to be a part of another culture, to experience first-hand some sort of community work, live in a large Christian family, and learn that everyone works together whether it be dishes, or laundry, and to learn how to live with a variety of different people.

In our hostel, we have missionary children from Cameroon, Central African Republic, Chad, Congo, and Gabon. Their home countries are Australia, Canada, Germany, Ireland, and the United States. We do not have the attitude that we are taking over their parents’ responsibility, but rather we are sharing them for a short time in their lives.

For a glimpse of one of the ways in which hostel parents can support the youth, please see Anita’s Story.

So, why did we decide to become hostel parents?

Paul attended the Ubangi Academy (UBAC) and lived in the dormitory in Zaire most of his grade school and high school years. Our son, Karl, lived in both the UBAC dorm in Zaire and here in Cameroon in a hostel for five years.  Kristina lived here in Cameroon in a hostel for five years. Both Karl and Kristina graduated from RFIS and loved their years both at the school and living in the hostels. Yes, they missed us, but both did very well living away from us because they had committed hostel parents who helped them adjust to living away from home.

When we evacuated from the Central African Republic (CAR) during Kristina’s junior year, unable to return to our mission station and continue with our ministries among the Fulani people, God put it in our hearts to step in and be hostel parents for SIL as they did not have hostel parents for the upcoming year. We had a good year and were able to appreciate even more what a huge responsibility hostel parents have – and that we had been very blessed in the way our two older children had been cared for in the past. While on home assignment the next year, we decided to continue as hostel parents at the UBAC Hostel (the Covenant/Free church-run hostel) as we were not able to recruit new hostel parents to replace the couple that been there for many years.  Our youngest son, Erik, would be just starting high school and we felt God was urging us to stay in Yaoundé and be hostel parents.

This job is huge, and there are times when it seems to never end, but we love the kids and are committed to making their boarding experience as good and as safe as possible. We aim at running our home here much like we do with our own family, but in a larger sense. We feel that missionary children, as well as other students who need to board to further their education, need to know that the people that are their hostel parents are there because they want to be, because they are called to be there, and because they believe that parenting these kids is important – because each individual child is important. They need to know that they are loved and cared for.

We do hope to return to our mission work in CAR after Erik graduates in 2009. Before that time arrives, however, we will need some new hostel parents to be in waiting or in training if the hostel is going to remain open as a ministry to missionary kids and other students.

Editor’s note: the top photo shows some of the students in the computer room doing their homework, from left: Janelle Hoyt, Hanna Cleek, Ron Burke, and Eliane Hoyt. The lower photo shows some of the girls (from left): back row – Kristina Noren, Josie Ohlin, Eliane Hoyt, and Anastasia Carlson; front row – Sarah Weber and Rachel Smith. The lower photo shows Danielle Carlson and Sheryl Noren preparing to serve a lot of pizza to the extended family.