The Feast

Prayer for Hope

admin — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 13:35:59 +0000

In the waiting and forgetting,
In the high-tides and debating,
Introduce me, to your hope Lord.

You’ve been patience,
I’ve been sulking,
In my pessimistic day dreams.

And here I am, a magnet, trusting you still produce metallic hope.
The hope that’s written about in pick-me-up books,
And sung aloud in praise songs,
And tucked inside healing.
Hope that delivers life when all odds are against breath,
Found in the impossible,
In the miracles,
In my own future, if I can bring myself to believe it.

So here’s my prayer:
Please help me tackle hope.
Your hope.
In the way I once could,
Without boundaries and budgets,
In the dreams I anticipated,
And the promises I put my trust in.
Before I learned the power of illness,
And the grip of jealousy.

Help me tackle hope.
When I don’t see fortune in front of me,
When my goals have been shot at… and missed,
When the promise land sounds more like an amusement park, then something to cling to,
When I’m selfish,
When the future is hard to swallow,
When my expectations fall so short.

In these moments of uncertainty
And discouragement,
And fear.
My God,
Help me tackle hope.

You and I

admin — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 13:34:50 +0000

If I can put aside:
all the attitudes,
all the grey area,
all the clenched fingers,
all the strangely spun webs of miscommunications,
all the cluttered calendars,
all the artificial dyes,

Then we’ll be just, you and I,
Lord,
Together, we’ll listen for what’s ahead.

If I can get past:
all the apologies I believe I’m owed,
all the poorly cooked meals,
all the Legos cracked in half,
all the not-quite-right relationships,
all the double meanings that could be,
all the hands left un-held,
all the life vests,

Then we’ll see what matters most, you and I,
Lord,
Oh to me, we matter most.

If I can find my way over:
all the unique insecurities,
all the things I assume of people,
all the meetings woven in circles,
all the outdated fashions,
all the sicknesses I’ve stepped through,
all the parties I’ve over planned,
all the flowers I’ve killed off simply by forgetting,

Then we’ll talk, just you and I,
Lord,
We’ll make no plans, just conversation.

If I can slide through:
all the boulders,
all the mid games that I play,
all the thorns I’ve convinced myself you’ve placed,
all the poor intentions,
all the phone calls,
all the good byes stuck in concrete,
all the quickness,

Then we’ll surface, you and I,
Lord,
We’ll take deep breaths, as you and I,

If I can get around:
all the misplaced words,
all the books that line my shelf,
all the Reese’s Cups consumed in weakness,
all the uncut grass,
all the blackberry stains,
all the cheating,
all the traffic,

Then we’ll sit, just you and I,
Lord,
As a team, we’ll sit and stay.

Burdens

admin — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 13:43:10 +0000

This burden is mine,
But it’s not for me to drag,
Or hold in the base of my pocket,
It is not for me to frame and look at every morning.
This burden is not for me to fix,
No, as much as I try to convince myself otherwise,
This burden is not for me to fix.
For the moment I am holding this burden,
But it is not for me,
Sometimes I trick myself into thinking this heavy package has my name on it,
That I need the extra pounds to steady me,
That I deserve the accusations that are strung to the side,
That I should carry it simply because it is mine.
And it is,
This burden is mine,
But it’s not for me.
It’s real and deceiving,
And I find it consistently difficult to give away what is mine.
Not even share, but fully give,
So I’ve kept this for a while,
Probably too long.
I’ve held onto this until it gave me real pain.
When I was reminded once again that this burden is mine,
and it will break me if I don’t act quickly.
But this burden is for me to hand over to my God,
My gracious God who is strong enough to hold all the things that break me down.
A God who let’s me swim free from,
and flee from these weights that attack my ankles,
And weary my steps.
This burden is good at making me forget what I am good at,
What I love,
The things that fill me up to the top with contentment,
and color.
It’s good at making me think I am not as kind, or successful, or funny,
As I used to be.
And though this burden is mine, it’s no good for me.
So I will soon pray,
I will ask my God once again if He has room for my latest weight,
and lift this lead to the sky,
Then breathe,

In,
And
Out.

I will breathe in comfort,
and grace, and peace.
The things I miss most when I let my arms become too heavy.
I will breathe and marvel how once again I let myself hold such a burden,
That was never for me to carry.

This Doubter

admin — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 16:01:18 +0000

I would have been a doubter,
I would have been the one betraying you,
Shouting arrogance as you passed,
Denying your power.
That would have been me.
I wish it wasn’t,
I wish I could say that I would have been the different one,
Someone noticing the significance of your suffering,
A soothing voice within the crowd,
Mary weeping at your feet,
But I would have been a doubter.
I know this, because even with the evidence of the cross,
and being aware of the weight within your truth,
and seeing your work around me each day,
I doubt,
So as you died for a revelation of faith,
I would have been among the doubters.
I would have doubted because sometimes it is hard to believe,
Sometimes, even with thousands of segments of scripture, there are just no words.
Or at least no words I want to hear.
Sometimes I don’t want to look on the bright side, or believe that every hardship is apart of your plan.
Sometimes I don’t even want to pray.
Sometimes I don’t want a long lengthy explanation, or a short general
statement that is supposed to justify any type of turn life can make.
Sometimes, it’s so easy to doubt.
And I do.
Even with a lifetime of moments where you clearly carried me through,
Sometimes I choose to ignore the cross,
To forget the powerful love you have for me,
I let myself lay under my own sin,
As a hiding place,
Because sometimes I don’t think I deserve forgiveness.
And I wonder how in the world you could have been thinking of me as you were dying,
How you could have been thinking of my broken self,
And my doubts,
And my mistakes,
And the tumbles I take,
How you were contemplating just how much you love me,
A type of love that holds so much depth it could dry oceans or flood deserts.
A love that could burn glaciers or simply prick hearts in the most tender places.
You were full of this love that I let myself doubt,
You saw heaviness and darkness ahead,
And chose to give me light,
Chose to bring me joy in all it’s glory,
As you were dying you had a choice,
And you chose me.
Fully knowing, that I wouldn’t always choose you,
That sometimes you would be loving me more then I could ever reciprocate,
Knowing that I would go astray in all directions and turn my back against you in a crowd,
Despite these things, you choose me.
This life.
You wanted this doubter to be free.

Be With Us

admin — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 15:56:17 +0000

Lord,
In a world where average is normal, exceed our expectations.
Reveal a God to us who is bigger then all we can imagine.
You have given us the gift to dream in color,
But too often we toss “what could be” away.
This morning Lord we pray for those who had the
Courage, and persistence to dream a beautiful vision for this church.
And for those who have come and painted in all shades of
Colors over the past 15 years.
As we prepare our hearts for the worship they dreamed about,
Be with us in this space.
We trust you and we doubt you,
How we wish our prayers could be stable,
Please walk with us as we discover how to let your love
Leak out of our footsteps,
And guide us in times of uncertainty.
Help us acknowledge your presence, and affirm your faithfulness.
Be with us in this space.
We thank you God, for those who will come to this
Building to worship in the future,
Lord we know that you have already picked out these
Brothers and sisters of Christ by hand,
And today we pray for them with hearts of anticipation.
Let the foundation we stand on this morning be one that is
Used as a starting point for journeys to come.
Bless the ground underneath our feet, so it may be a
Blessing for those yet to enter.
Be with us in this space.
For those who are exhausted, and feeling empty,
Those who are overwhelmed or need a moment to breath,
(pause)
We ask God, that this time would be refreshing.
That you would fill these people with your peace and let,
Your grace flow over each seat.
This morning we pray that our eyes would be opened to
You Lord.
For you are mighty and impressive and we need you.
Please,
Be with us in this space.