{"id":127,"date":"2015-04-20T20:04:29","date_gmt":"2015-04-20T20:04:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.covchurch.org\/cjhoskins\/?p=127"},"modified":"2015-04-20T20:04:29","modified_gmt":"2015-04-20T20:04:29","slug":"yes-and","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/blogs.covchurch.org\/cjhoskins\/2015\/04\/20\/yes-and\/","title":{"rendered":"Yes, and&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">\u201cAre you excited?\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">This is the question that everyone seems to be asking me these days.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Whenever conversation steers its way to our move back to Ecuador, almost 100% of the time, people lead with this question.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">And the answer is YES!<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Of course!<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>But more accurately, the answer is yes, and\u2026<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Yes, I am excited.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>And I am terrified.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>And I am full of questions.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>And I am taking great comfort in returning to a community where we already have friends and relationships to build on.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>And I am grieving all that our family will inevitably lose with our move.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>And I am anxious to discover all that we will gain. And I am doubting my own abilities.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>And I am beyond encouraged by those around us that have already committed to walking this road with us. And. And. And.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">All this gray.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>All of this living in the space filled with so many conflicting emotions.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>With each day I am given, I am realizing more and more that much of life is lived in these very spaces.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>The spaces that are messy and confusing.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Spaces that don\u2019t fit together with clean, sharp edges.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>More often, life is blurry and we are left with seasons and emotions and relationships that bleed into one another.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>As a first born perfectionist with a bent towards a type-A personality, I can find this exhausting.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I like my check lists and schedules and well thought out plans.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Life won\u2019t always fit into my boxes of right or wrong, good or bad, hard or easy.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">I want to continue to learn how to live well in the gray.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I want to learn to see the beauty that only exists when the colors bleed together.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I want to be open to feeling it all so that I don\u2019t miss a thing. I want to remain present to how it continues to shape and form us.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I want to continue to learn that there is so much of life to be lived and experienced outside of the confines of the neat and tidy boxes I try to stuff it into. Perhaps most important of all is how we choose to live and learn to trust in the midst of the gray.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">So, yes, I am excited.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">And. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-report-this\"><a href=\"http:\/\/blogs.covchurch.org\/cjhoskins?moderation_action=report_form&object_type=post&object_id=127&width=250&height=300\" class=\"thickbox\" title=\"Report This Post\">Report This Post<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cAre you excited?\u201d\u00a0 This is the question that everyone seems to be asking me these days.\u00a0 Whenever conversation steers its way to our move back to Ecuador, almost 100% of the time, people lead with this question.\u00a0 And the answer is YES!\u00a0 Of course!\u00a0 But more accurately, the answer is yes, and\u2026\u00a0 Yes, I am [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":95,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-127","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","post-preview"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - 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